Various and sundry items of minimal interest
Well I haven't posted in a while, so I thought maybe I should breathe some life into the blog for a change.
I bought a new car! Yes, folks, my poor old 1992 Crown Victoria has been retired. On may way to my sister's farm in Southern Missouri, I struck a deer. This deer didn't even have the common courtesy to get hit in such a manner that he would be able to process either. The real tragedy is not just the fact that my old crown vic ("crown royal as we call it") sustained a mortal wound, but also the fact that I got no meat from the deer. And the real irony is that I was on my way to a DEER HUNT.
That was the only deer I saw that weekend. I didn't stop to collect on my groceries, for several reasons. First off, it was freezing cold, secondly it was pitch black, thirdly we were on a 2 lane highway in the middle of nowwhere, and lastly, it's just too dangerous to pull over on the highway.
I was already considering a new vehicle. This event significantly sped up the decision. I did the only thing any red blooded American man could do: I bought another Crown Vic.
This Crown Vic is now the love of my life. It's a 2006 with just over 8,000 miles on it. Fully loaded with things I still haven't figured out. The best part: all leather interior! It'd be great if it was buckskin, but I really prefer cowhide anyway. There's just no substitute for 239 horses of Detriot Iron. This V-8 kicks ass and takes names.
Some think of it as an old man's car. I prefer to think of it as a pimp mobile. It's smoothe, quiet, and responsive. You tell it to jump, and it doesn't even ask how high, it just jumps. In the proud tradition of American motoring, it just says "get the f- out of my way". This of course is why the cops and taxi drivers prefer the Crown Vic.
All I need now is to get the windows tinted. That will be the icing on the cake. Well, it's getting late, and if I don't get that car into my bed soon my girlfriend will hog all the space and it won't fit.
I bought a new car! Yes, folks, my poor old 1992 Crown Victoria has been retired. On may way to my sister's farm in Southern Missouri, I struck a deer. This deer didn't even have the common courtesy to get hit in such a manner that he would be able to process either. The real tragedy is not just the fact that my old crown vic ("crown royal as we call it") sustained a mortal wound, but also the fact that I got no meat from the deer. And the real irony is that I was on my way to a DEER HUNT.
That was the only deer I saw that weekend. I didn't stop to collect on my groceries, for several reasons. First off, it was freezing cold, secondly it was pitch black, thirdly we were on a 2 lane highway in the middle of nowwhere, and lastly, it's just too dangerous to pull over on the highway.
I was already considering a new vehicle. This event significantly sped up the decision. I did the only thing any red blooded American man could do: I bought another Crown Vic.
This Crown Vic is now the love of my life. It's a 2006 with just over 8,000 miles on it. Fully loaded with things I still haven't figured out. The best part: all leather interior! It'd be great if it was buckskin, but I really prefer cowhide anyway. There's just no substitute for 239 horses of Detriot Iron. This V-8 kicks ass and takes names.
Some think of it as an old man's car. I prefer to think of it as a pimp mobile. It's smoothe, quiet, and responsive. You tell it to jump, and it doesn't even ask how high, it just jumps. In the proud tradition of American motoring, it just says "get the f- out of my way". This of course is why the cops and taxi drivers prefer the Crown Vic.
All I need now is to get the windows tinted. That will be the icing on the cake. Well, it's getting late, and if I don't get that car into my bed soon my girlfriend will hog all the space and it won't fit.
posted by Jason E. Peck at 9:21 PM
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